Beauty, education, excess of intelligence and knowledge, full of strength, wealth, power and position makes men and women arrogant.
The super ego acts as a governor constantly correcting the ego from frequent deviations or over expression of the self.
1. Courage and determination
2. Intellect and logic
3. Wisdom, consciousness
4. Love and caring on our actions
5. Discipline the ego.
The consciousness of the ego for the purpose of teaching and good of humanity. Basically we are gentle and loving human beings.
Three things to Admire; Beauty, Intellect and Character.
A man/woman cannot choose his physical appearance but he can make it look more beautiful, with seeing beauty and divinity in everything.
‘Personality’ signifies the inner endowment, not the outer appearance. Personality is the quality which makes a person what he is as distinct from other persons.
The intellect gives man purity of thought and purpose, the power of discrimination and capacity for self-introspection.
The power of thought should be developed in association with persons who are authorities in the scriptures, saintly persons and spiritual masters and those whose thinking is highly developed.
A man who is fully qualified, who is highly talented, has proficiency, is skilled and efficiently successful in his life, lead his life for the goodness of the people and society.
When one grows with his hard work, he is humble and gentle, becomes inspiration to others. He uses his strength and energy, his power, abundantly in practical service and positively to heal others; and fulfilling his ambition with generosity towards others.
The world is conquered by the person who has truthfulness and endurance. The community of creatures lies in the control of, one who speaks the truth, is kindly and is humble. The humble grows. – Chandrasekhara Saraswathi Swami, Kanchi
Men with calmer heads and more practical minds may be better at efficient organization, but without the direct action, energy and originality of the rams(male sheep), the more desirable projects would fall to the ground or make little head way. What is wanted is a mind free from prejudice and prepossession and a persistent desire to work independently.
Our opportunities are great but let me warn you that when power outstrips ability, we will fall on evil days. – S. Radha Krishnan
A man stands to lose out on stability, when he takes shortcuts to acquire his desires. It is the ego that spoils work; and ego is the centerpiece of most theories of motivation.
The man is very ambitious and full of desires. The mind expresses itself in activity, in desire and excessive power and energy.
Where there is absolute power, tyranny is inbuilt, men become powerful rulers and heads of countries but always securing their power and position by unfair means such as betrayal, treachery, coups and ruthlessness.
Cruelty is for mind and intellect. Cruelty is heinous. – Kanchi Swami
Extremely ambitious, persistent and determined through power hungry, controlling attitude is associated with his grappling possessive qualities. Compulsive and obsessive to control everyone. He is restless, lacks peace of mind and is always after fame and name.
Uncontrolled Passion for desires always brings misery; until the end of life their anxiety is immeasurable.
Unfulfilled emotions, can look for molehills of frustrations to build into huge mountains of trouble. Manipulative thrive only on devious plans, inflict harm on others, stirring up mischief and quarrels between any two and continuing that strife which it stirs up.
They have no scruples to manipulate and divide minds to destroy relationships, families, friends and institutions in uncontrolled instincts of greed. They indulge freely in double talk and betray, use others to serve their selfish interests.
Materialistic people have been found in many studies to be less happy. – Dr. Ed Dienor, Psychology prof. University of Illinois
Worldly ambitions are their priority. They love, desire power and authority, desire to get as much possessions as possible. The extremity of acquiring possessions makes them greed. Greedy trying to divert your attention, they will all come up with one campaign after another to blame the other person, the other attitude etc…
Mind poisoned with lust and greed leads to destruction. Greed makes a man crave for everything. Greed destroys all good qualities. No purpose is served by remaining greedy.
Mental ability to think only about ego and himself; he acts out of pride, ego, desires too much attachment for only material enjoyment.
A man who is arrogant, has insufferable ego, cause distress through his words, deeds and thoughts constantly harasses others for his own selfish ends.
These people can also demonize others effortlessly and play the perfect victim with their sob stories even as they mercilessly go about tearing other people’s lives to shreds.
Stolen waters are sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
The unscrupulous nature that has scant regard for moral values, ethics and integrity; when people interfere with his liberty of action. To curb their weak morals they demoralize the others desperately.
Seek no revenge for another's’ wrong doing; his misdeeds will ultimately exact their own penalty of him. – Rose Chat cuff
Arrogance brings only sorrow. Arrogance makes one repulsive, distempered and fond of tormenting others. A person with arrogance is bound to face a fall.
The worst threat to one’s prosperity could come from rash actions motivated by emotions which owe nothing to the present and everything to the past.
Reputed to be powerful people, they lead fate filled lives. Power is fickle, there is always the prospect of losing it along with respect. Their tragic flaw is immense pride. Many of them are often rendered useless vegetables as a result.
Uncontrolled desire, anger and greed causes mental(spirit) destruction.
The deceptive image he presents to the world, is his own self-deception. One can cheat anyone; not self. Self-deception leads to incompetence. Only incompetent people try to behave like brave men.
The educated and the rich, be-fooled by greed, plunge into wickedness, then feel the pinch of need. - Panchantantra
Strategies depend on their life styles and standard of life.
A man/woman who desires to live life in full capacity and missing nothing in their lives, enjoys money, leans heavily toward prestige, surrounds himself with every comfort and luxury, and lean toward excesses in food.
They have a very healthy appetite, if they miss meals it is not real good. They trow the whole family into a state of nervousness and fear.
He/She takes the enjoyment of food and too much interested in different tastes of nutritious food. He speaks all the time about food only and behaves as live to eat. Excessive food produces excessive emotions and emotional imbalance.
Desire resides in the mind and senses. Material desires, when unsatisfied, generate anger, and thus the mind, eyes and chest become agitated. Mental agitation can make a man impatient and it destroys human qualities.
Unsteady mind gets excited very easily and emotionally rebellious.
Active anger is in action. Passive anger is in sorrow. Anger in action should be proportionate.
There is a destructive loop between anger and frustration(unfulfilled desire) that continues in a vicious circle, round and round until the person becomes worn down physically, emotionally and mentally.
If people cannot make sense and unable to reach agreement of what an individual is saying, they are likely to become uncomfortable and tend to leave that person alone.
The moment you are in tension, you lose your attention; then you are in total confusion and you feel irritation; then you spoil personal relation, there by you don’t get co-operation; then you make things complication.
Displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings; resentment and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness), cool withdrawal when things don’t go their way. Hiding from responsibilities; difficulty in making decisions; uncertainty and lack of control, low energy level.
Being assertive requires that you consider other people’s interests equally with yours.
He/She develops a psychological fear of losing control which could drive him into decisions that could push into turmoil.
You might make better decisions if you look at the facts from detached perspective.
When the mind is over active, furious and contentious, easily prejudiced more by rashness than solid judgment. When the emotions erupt he is thoughtless, impatience of control or submission, with angry temperament, is often with a strong burst of sarcasm and vindictiveness.
Where there is justice, there is victory. – Sanskrit proverb
He/She will always blame somebody, undeserved soul for anything that goes wrong. The easiest thing is to blame others for any unpleasantness happening in his life.
Impatience will increasingly be rewarded by failure; but patience breed success. Impatience is one quality nobody can’t stand. One who blames the wrong person then, they’ll be out to get their own back.
A man/woman is born with full of human ego, thinks himself independent and powerful in every action. Pride is strongly marked in his nature. It’s his arrogant nature to feel himself above everyone. Since no one can equal him in strength, power or wealth; he can act in anyway and no one can stop him.
He/She desires to be loved, admired, desires every credit when anything good happens. The intense love of praise and flattery is his great weakness. He does not act out of love but out of expected gains. He insists on receiving most of the time.
Once in a while small compliments and appreciation makes everyone happy and encouraging. Compliments must be like a rain in the pre-monsoon.
All the time pleasing and constant praising is boring and the excitement of pleasing (force to please), people will grow disgusted with hypocrisy and artificial glitter. Wearing a continual ‘happy face’ and smiling just to be polite is hypocritical.
Anyone who bears true love in his heart does not need to wear a constant smile on his face. Love never needs demonstration. Love must simply be there as the inner motive for our actions.
However much love surrounds him/her, he/she is always greedy for more of it and extracts happiness from others.
He/She is known to be controlling everything and everyone in the family, needs to control (including personal affairs), for this makes him/her feel safe. Too much self-importance, entirely self-motivated and single minded. His manner demands respect and fear.
Giving orders and delivering works, directing people is something he/she especially fond of doing. He want to be bossy and want to be in charge of things. He will rebel against doing demeaning jobs, domestic and menial work. He can never be content to work behind the scenes.
The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give others. – Anon
He/She prefer to lead unobtrusively and will be go on teaching others. He gives you needless lectures, voicing his opinions, on how to run your personal life and private affairs, to people with minimum of resentment and who never talk back.
People who have not learned to control themselves are apt to be great scolds and the worst naggers in the world.
If you ask anything, say something, they will not accept your words, doesn’t like to listen and even bother what is in your mind.
It is difficult for him/her to recognize and refuse to identify the other person as a distinct individual personality.
They take pride in punishing others, who deserve to remind them something. Apology keeps you to go away quite easily from them.
You may retreat into introversion, in holding you back constantly. Leave everything for someone else if he/she has been standing in your way.
Love doesn’t mean control, domination, restriction and stifling anything of others individual interests, permitting no freedom of opinion or expression.
To love without condition, to give without reason and to care without expectation is the heart of a true friend.
You can be certain that being frozen by icy disapproval constitutes a painful emotional imprisonment. Unspoken tension can deeply disturb tranquility and harmony of people, and leave lasting feelings of unhappiness.
Confinement inside four walls however luxurious the cage and under one roof can soon rob anyone’s spirit.
Never talk down, consider everyone as your equals or even as human beings. Learn to attach great importance to what other people are up to. Appreciate people’s strengths instead of drawing attention towards weaknesses.
Being weighed down and an unsympathetic attitude will cause some of them to retreat and detached; distant attitude makes one so impersonal in expressions.
“To earn the good will of all, will always stand us in good stead.” We must impersonally qualify ourselves. – Karma Yogi
As far as closest relationships are concerned, emphasize shifting from emotion, and feeling towards thought and communication.
Relations should make good company.
Relationships at home or at work may have a strong component of communication. Plays an interesting ‘role to play’ in keeping happy and friendly.
Everyone has his/her thing, his special yearning. Individuality should be respected. It is your life, live your life; the way you choose but do not ever attempt to dictate or interfere into others life. It is your code of ethics in your personal and private life.
Three things to watch; Speech, Behavior and Action.
People certainly, cannot change anything through egoistical and arrogant lectures. Men and women treating each other with mutual respect can see good and appreciate all the goodness in life.
If one is soft spoken attracts others by the power of sweet tongue. Every word has been spoken, with a blessing behind and peace before it.
Some males get upset now and then, a little short on patience for any discomfort. They do a little yelling around the house but their anger is seldom violent and long lasting. Some get anger quickly and get cooled also easily.
Yelling hides an inferiority complex and underneath their brave faces secretly fear they have no real courage in the home. He is only pretentious to be strong. A tiger outside is a mouse in the house.
Yelling and causing so much disturbance, makes people give in just to get peace.
Yet, he cannot manage his own affairs independently and perfectly. He will depend on others for everything and need much more assistance than everyone.
Exceptionally some woman can sense this weakness in her man, and will take advantage out of it. She uses his name, lack of control, as a weapon to evict people out. This as a great opportunity in her home and family to resist disagreeable people aside. And they are expected to keep their place.
The family remains the main area of operations. Her power can absolutely be of the “behind the scenes”.
She is too proud, although often appears to be generous, has absolute will, desire in a subtle form to control the entire family. She can be quiet or loud, accepts only yielding and submissive people. She may let others join her, only who responds favorably accepting her superiority.
Superiority is generally interpreted as a defense against deeper feelings of inferiority.
She views everyone as less and inferiors in every aspect, and easily talking against someone and something. This doesn’t mean that she is necessarily better than everyone.
The needle is not costly but it sews costly garments.
At home, she may be something of obsessive and abnormally possessive, wanting everything done her way. Yet, she will not like to be possessed. She will have irascible desire to know everything about everyone around her in a unrestricted way.
The problem with burning curiosity is that she tend to stretch it into suspicion. Suspicion can cut the heart like a knife. Suspicion is capable of breaking the warm heart, as well as spirit and self-confidence in others.
Compromise is not one of her virtue. Pride seem to stern from a clash of personalities or wills. Compromise and co-operation is difficult, relationships become weak when ego dominates everywhere.
Any two proud people can usually harmonize their differences and idiosyncrasies' because both reflect each another.
She constantly preaches about humility and human touch, but nearly never practices.
She wants people to be nice to her, though you might not guess it from the way she behaves, at times. She desires no restrictions.
She is aware of her pride, behaves as she feels like and she sometimes wishes she could unbend without caring what anyone thinks of her.
She has a way of freezing in silent pride if anyone tries to say something to her.
A little personal honesty would help a man or a woman to see and accept others goodness.
Her desirability of continuing in a complex deluded by false ego, makes her difficulty to accept other people may be right in some aspects.
If you begin to assume that nobody is right or good except only you, then it is not goodness, it is ignorance.
Every individual is equally endowed as far as inner capabilities are concerned. – Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev
She hates being corrected. She doesn’t like others responses or freedom of speech.
The personality of hers change dramatically, and her very common reactions are anger and extreme suspicion.
Doing anything to send out people for no apparent reason, is nothing but the psychological defense mechanism to put people away.
She is aware of her capabilities and deficits, seeks to hide her deficits even from her where possible. She is extravagant in the matter of defending herself, and frequently imagines that others who disagree something in her are out to put her down, as she does.
She put on appearances to be smooth and sweet; and gives an impression of social nature. She projects complicated moods and to let others see or know how much angry she is. She can show frigid indifference, make others starving with her unkind words and deeds, that cannot be proved.
Everything can change, but not the language that we carry inside us, like a world more exclusive and final than one’s mother’s womb. – Italo Calvino
She takes everything in the world seriously and possess a sense of self-importance. She can be pretty cold and calculating.
Coldness as a weapon. Cold might really be calm and assertive in command of one’s self. Calculating is being precise in action, thought and direction taken.
It is a principle of human nature to hate those whom you have injured. – Tacitus
Humanity is the peculiar characteristic of great mind; little vicious minds abound with anger and revenge and are incapable of feeling the exact pleasure of forgiving their enemies.
Conspiracies, gossip and rumors involve things which are in-discriminative in the damage they cause.
“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”. Be prepared for getting blamed for any and everything that goes wrong to people’s moods. Nothing is worst in this world and life. Nothing worst can happen.
It is so easy to be ‘superior’ because of various privileges you enjoy and to stain others ability, without realizing that putting someone down does not equate to elevating yourself.
As fiercely possessive, insufficiency and self-doubt, makes her to accuse and even create difficult situations, to shame or even dilute another woman’s moral strength and integrity.
Integrity is the quality of being able to be trusted. It means that we don’t lie to each other; that what we say we’ll do we will do; that the affection we profess is genuine and the praise we give is honest. – A Whitman
Personal values are more important, because of the value you place to certain relationships at home, family and friends.
Tolerance is for trust, optimism, loyalty, ethics, respect, age and affection, naive or noble, courtesy, and experience.
Implicit faith in yourself, similarly compromise and naive trust in human nature, which is why you’re almost constantly disillusioned by unfair means.
Several experiences with her which inevitable causes deep sorrow and lingering physical illness. People have little or no immunity to long-continued mental and emotional pressures.
Future modifies our present behavior. Trust in the future. Let your head follow your heart, true to your beliefs and leave thoughtless individuals to defend for themselves.
Often many of them misinterpret gentleness as timidity.
Adverse stress and tension they stir up can be useful if they spur you into action.
She must be allowed to retain the illusion that she’s more or less above reproach. Let her enjoy false pride, and there is no need to spoil her happiness in illusion.
Generally, people around her may retreat, keep silent fearing to risk their displeasure and keep respectful distance with her.
Those who have not learned the higher law of love are often very unsatisfactory and eccentric in their dealings with their family members, relatives and even with friends. – Bhagavad-Gita
She will be left to her interests and desired life style much of the time. When the age advances she suffers from lack of affection, co-ordination and bliss on account of her tongue and arrogant nature.
It is not that she is unreliable, just that the lines of communication and displays of emotion are not smooth with her. It is literally annoying.
Three things to control; Tongue, Temper and Temptation.
She need to temper her possessiveness. If she is reckless or careless, or inclined to lose her temper, then she will be her own worst enemy and can blame nobody else.
She need to maintain the balance, a spirit of self-control and equanimity, especially where family members are involved. The more a man/woman compromises, the more other people will give.
Develop the different virtues of fortitude, justice, love, compassion and self-control.
Overcoming obstacles like anger, jealousy, ill-feeling, enmity, hatred etc. makes a man worthy of becoming. He needs stability to balance his irrational pride. It requires self restriction or discipline to become free from bewilderment, so that there is no slip back.
Pleasure and pain are the functions of the mind, but due to the illusion an ignorant man regards the physical body as the self.
In the nature of ignorance, everything is illusion. The illusion can be overcome only by the mercy of the God.
Invite criticism, which is necessary for self-improvement, and always lends you an opportunity to learn many things. Criticism largely increases your awareness, helps you to become firm.
Nature cannot be altered. Therefore the wicked nature cannot be set right by any amount of example or precept. – Srimad Ramayana
If someone is constantly hurting your feelings or giving you trouble either physically, mentally or emotionally, be thankful that the so called irritant or enemy is cleansing you of all impurities. Once the cleansing is over, without much fuss you will get over such situations in life.
Do not try to poke the shedding tears till the eyes become blind, with your unkindness. If you cannot wipe others tears, let the tears come down. And better leave them alone, gradually tears cleanses the eyes and the heart becomes light. There is much cleansing that happens with all those tears that flow due to emotional pain.
Freedom from doubt and delusion, distorted perceptions of reality, makes one firm. The ability to overcome unsteadiness is firmness.
The consciousness, expresses through us we speak, think or act. This consciousness is that which makes us experience the pleasure as well as pain in life.
Everyone finds discomfort or unhappiness somewhere, just try to accept it first. Worrying about the consequences about unconditionally accepting difficulties depress your spirits. The ability to be flexible and adaptability to achieve a desired change is much higher for a person who is content and happy.
Hope, optimism and faith in tomorrow can be mighty uplifting. “Everything is fine as it is” contentment gives you bliss.
Contentment with existence, is a dynamic state of action. It leads to a total acceptance of the situation so that the mind can begin a course of action if change is required.
When change is inevitable and no joy or happiness can be permanent.
In order to fully relax, one must be able to let go. Letting go helps a person to be free of addictive behavior. Letting go helps individuals to maintain sanity in abusive relationships. Letting go helps the person to depend solely on one’s own abilities and strength. And holding on to some outdated thoughts that are no longer helpful to you. Let it disappear into the light of awareness.
Consequences and results are bound to happen when you lose yourself in action. Respond awareness, consciousness with humility.
Spirituality, has been defined as expression beyond the ego and personality into union with the universal Divine of God. The mind expresses itself in calmness, purity and tranquility and a spirit of equanimity. It causes light and knowledge, produces happiness and wisdom, faith and love.
Equanimity, refers to freedom from attachment and aversion. To be very much attached or to be very much detached is not the best. This material world should be accepted without attachment or aversion. – Bhagavad Gita
Harmony is possible when you find yourself spiritually aligned with the world. You need to find salvation through the world. Running away is not a solution.
Moral purity ensures one’s own peace of mind.
