This article has been selected as the winner of the Second Prize (consisting of a Rs.3000/- cash award) for Essay Competition on "Balancing family needs and handling the challenges faced by families / children in current scenario" conducted on the occasion of International Family Day by CMC Maitree.
Traditionally ‘Family’ plays a very important role in Indian culture and is the significant differentiators compared to the other cultures in the world.
The role of family has undergone significant changes in modern times. With the fast-paced changes in modern society families and children are facing many challenges. In this kind of environment what are the best ways of balancing family needs and handling the challenges faced?
By following some simple and easy steps one can face challenges and achieve balance in family life.
Surveys have universally concluded that people claim to be most happy in the company of friends and family. Everyone feels more alive when surrounded with people.
In families, communication plays an important role in maintaining a happy and friendly environment. Communication shows exchange of views, opinions, interests, hobbies, talents, etc. It clears everything and avoids confusion. Some people may have difficulty in self expression, lack the clarity in explaining while communicating. Be sympathetic with them and give importance for their feelings.
Interesting conversations also increase a good listening habit. Listen without attempting to defend or justify hastily. Everyone in the family needs love, especially in the form of respect, listening, appreciation and friendship. Fairness in every interaction and association should be maintained.
Good relationships are worth more than anything. There is no need for a special day to express a good feeling and affection. When something really good happens to you, be thankful, and tell how much favor happened to you cheerfully. It gives lot of encouragement and strength, to increase happiness in the family. Enjoy your role in your family to strengthen relationships.
Optimistic attitude, full of hope works better for every success in life. Giving importance to unnecessary matters, you may miss small joy in your personal life. Try to lead a cheerful life. Sharing small and ordinary things with your family shows love, affection, and gives lot of happiness. Try to see beauty in small things. Enjoy good humor. Laughter is the light and lightens the world. Laughter enhances our energy levels and provides relaxation to our muscles, body and mind.
Give importance to care, and paying attention to your family. The most important relationships and decisions are made involving family and friends. Try to be both adaptable and patient. Create a peaceful, calm and harmonious environment.
Peace is better than conflict.
The misunderstandings between family members are largely due to strings being pulled by other members of the family, relatives and friends. Do not go by what you are told.
If one does not agree with another, do not hate your partner. Hatred doesn’t leave space for a person to be fair and it makes you blind and closes all doors of thinking and making right decision or judgment.
Do not try to rule everyone in the family, and have a tendency to impose your will on family and friends, since your ideas are their best interests. To fulfill your own interests, do not make your spouse uncomfortable. Any body can bear only a certain amount of growing tensions.
When things don’t appear to happen as quickly or exactly in the manner you’d like, all sorts of inner frustrations begin to start.
Ego destroys your relationships. There may be emotional discussions or arguments, crazy movements on occasions. Try to ignore them with a bright and broad mind. Too much self-importance, constant inward and outward battle for supremacy causes emotional pressures.
Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause, which gives misery and frustration. Don’t let a little dispute injure your good relationships. In disagreements fight fairly. With loved ones deal with the current situation. Don’t bring the past.
Do not make hasty decisions; anything worth having is worth waiting for. Tolerance is the only way to balance life on anyone’s scales. Show tolerance at the time of distress and difficulty, an imbalanced individual can behave irrationally and pay little attention towards using hurtful expressions. Be generous to any fault in your spouse you will remain as a good loving partner.
Forgiveness is divine. The most beautiful thing a partner can do is to forgive. Your forgiveness should be such that the person, who is forgiven, does not even know that you are forgiving him or her. They should not even feel guilty about their mistake.
Heal the hurt with loving tenderness and wisdom. Love can cement anything, even hearts that have broken into a thousand pieces.
Burying resentment in silence won’t make negative feelings disappear. Negative feelings make life dull. By being more open and direct, less subtle and evasive, much hurt can be avoided.
Believe in truth, not evasion. Truth can solve any difficulty, when it is faced with openness and compassion. Telling the truth saves a great deal of trouble.
Being extensively jealous and possessive reveals your own sense of insecurity and your belief that you don’t really deserve to have this person as a partner. A little jealousy is natural but too much possessiveness can begin, as something irritating and end up as a major issue. Insecure feelings show suspicion towards you.
The unfounded suspicion is something which implies a thing about truth and integrity. This ruins your relationship and family…..creates so many problems.
Obstacles for weak family relations:
F = Frustration
A = Avoidance
I = Inferiority
L = Lack of assertiveness
U = under handed actions
R = Resentment
E = Envy
Friction spoils the affection at home.
If you love something, very, very much, let it go free. Remember, “Birds return to their nest”. TRUST is the only, major important trait for good family relationship.
Have patience with yourself, and everyone in the family. Do not lose courage considering imperfections, but instantly begin remedying them. Sometimes a thoughtless mistake can be very helpful. Accept and adopt criticism. It strengthens to improve your efficiency to face any challenge.
Unless one learns to tolerate and even enjoy being alone, it is very difficult to accomplish any task that requires undivided concentration. For this reason, it is essential to find ways to control consciousness even when we are left to our own.
Take responsibility for your happiness. “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones”.
It is not sufficient if you are a good individual. With getting good association and cooperation only, you can balance needs and good relationships in the family. Acceptance gives prosperity.
Bad experiences, disappointments, and ups and downs in your life should not make you hard or bitter… only stronger with positive approach. Face your problems with open courage.
Accepting problems whether major or minor, and deciding how to patiently and calmly deal with them is another thing. Be firm, in solving a problem. Follow your own way, do not invite or involve others in your affairs not to create crisis. Sometimes people around you take advantage, and make fun. They will make a mountain out of a mole hill. With no reason tale-bearers may create base less rumors which can disturb stability in the family. The best course for you with such personalities is to avoid them, or at least not to give them scope to train their guns on you.
Obstacles lend you the gift of will power and determination.
Relax yourself with some recreation; going out for vacation with your family makes you feel fresh and happy. Pleasure trips strengthen your relationships.
Make priorities, work together to fulfill your ambitions. Recognize and encourage your partner to achieve his/her goals. Give freedom of thought, action, and movement in every aspect and remain as an ideal partner.
In modern society, behind every successful man there is an even more successful, working woman. Working woman is showing more efficiency and capability of balancing both family and career with so much of challenge. Appreciate and encourage her, in every way, giving full support to reach great heights in her profession. Everyone in the family must understand her; Give plenty of love and affection to reduce stress she is facing throughout the day. Feel proud and happy to see her in a good position. Be flexible, and create ideal image that can make you happy and your family.
When a woman is a housewife, just make your man and family prosperity as your career. Gladly help him in every way sincerely, true to the saying “behind every successful man there’s a woman”. A woman’s heart lies in serving her whole family cheerfully. To work with love is a holy thing.
Show urge to serve the family and all the individuals by pointing out their faults to bring order and accumulate a reasonable amount of personal security for the future at the same time. Enjoy work after family obligations are properly attended all of which may take endless time and attention. Take duties and obligations seriously. Enjoy your role in your family. Do not be unfaithful to the vows, once committed.
The five personality traits that help man/woman to live and thrive…
1. Extroverted character
2. Agreeable manner
3. Conscientiousness
4. Emotional stability
5. Openness to experience
Ethics in a family develops more strength. The gentle humility and patience makes a good family. See love of peace and harmony is seen everywhere. Give respect to your head of the family. Purity of mind in a wife ensures health and longevity of the husband. Respect for the wisdom of age and experience, a sense of duty and responsibility shows sincerely towards family.
Health is wealth; it is well being of your family. Concentrate on healthy food habits for healthy mind to balance your life with great strength. Wrong food habits increase stress levels in your body.
Woman heart must be close to culture and tradition. See that every corner in your home is clean. It will give positive vibrations in your family. Disciplined life, faith in God, and prayer can become a way of life in a family, even while engaged in onerous duties of life. Prayer is just like a meditation. Prayer can reduce chaotic thinking. Prayers to God remove ill feelings in the home.
Self-esteem is an important quality that guides you to behave ethically. Give value to honesty and try to be honest in all your dealings. A decision is right if it benefits others or at least does not harm anybody. It has to be based on principles of fairness and equality. Leave important matters to your man he will do justice to everyone in the family. Remain as accomplished and devoted wife.
Money is very important in one’s life and the acquisition of money and its management contributes in making one successful in life. Mismanagement of finances creates many problems in a family.
Generally many problems arise with money matters, showing disparity between both families. Be sensible in spending your money. Spend thrift to be generous to your siblings. Be generous when they are in need. Think some day you may be in need. Some doesn’t like to need and believe that “needing” is a synonym for “weakness”. Where there is no need of monetary help, give love and affection through your services. Helping others seeks a shining ideal.
Have faith in humanity, it must come from home. “Live and Let Live”, humanitarian concern for others teaches the beautiful rewards of self-giving. Show quickness to help your people; cooperate beautifully to balance your relationships. Work to your own satisfaction and to the satisfaction of all. Let everyone feel comfortable in your presence with your behavior. A little tenderness today can prevent a lot of tears tomorrow.
When you are strong about family ties, feel a sense of duty and responsibility towards your parents. Take good care and attend to their needs sincerely. Share your happiness and joy with your parents. When your parents get suddenly hospitalized, or suffering from some health problems, first personally be concerned, then for additional help, ask your spouse to share your responsibility. Understanding between both a man/woman must be very strong. Kindly understand their elderly problems and give your maximum moral support they need. Respect and gratitude tells everything with services. Without knowing you will enjoy unimagined blessing and boon in your family life. See a wonderful success and prosperous future of your children in every step.
To Parents…
Live a good, healthy, prosperous, and honorable long family life. People with healthy life styles are known to look youthful, cheerful and full of zeal even late in life. When you get older and think back you’ll get to enjoy it a second time. Make family as a true society.
F = Faith
A = Affection
M = Moral strength
I = Integrity
L = Love and loyalty
Y = Yielding
Traditionally ‘Family’ plays a very important role in Indian culture and is the significant differentiators compared to the other cultures in the world.
The role of family has undergone significant changes in modern times. With the fast-paced changes in modern society families and children are facing many challenges. In this kind of environment what are the best ways of balancing family needs and handling the challenges faced?
By following some simple and easy steps one can face challenges and achieve balance in family life.
Surveys have universally concluded that people claim to be most happy in the company of friends and family. Everyone feels more alive when surrounded with people.
In families, communication plays an important role in maintaining a happy and friendly environment. Communication shows exchange of views, opinions, interests, hobbies, talents, etc. It clears everything and avoids confusion. Some people may have difficulty in self expression, lack the clarity in explaining while communicating. Be sympathetic with them and give importance for their feelings.
Interesting conversations also increase a good listening habit. Listen without attempting to defend or justify hastily. Everyone in the family needs love, especially in the form of respect, listening, appreciation and friendship. Fairness in every interaction and association should be maintained.
Good relationships are worth more than anything. There is no need for a special day to express a good feeling and affection. When something really good happens to you, be thankful, and tell how much favor happened to you cheerfully. It gives lot of encouragement and strength, to increase happiness in the family. Enjoy your role in your family to strengthen relationships.
Optimistic attitude, full of hope works better for every success in life. Giving importance to unnecessary matters, you may miss small joy in your personal life. Try to lead a cheerful life. Sharing small and ordinary things with your family shows love, affection, and gives lot of happiness. Try to see beauty in small things. Enjoy good humor. Laughter is the light and lightens the world. Laughter enhances our energy levels and provides relaxation to our muscles, body and mind.
Give importance to care, and paying attention to your family. The most important relationships and decisions are made involving family and friends. Try to be both adaptable and patient. Create a peaceful, calm and harmonious environment.
Peace is better than conflict.
The misunderstandings between family members are largely due to strings being pulled by other members of the family, relatives and friends. Do not go by what you are told.
If one does not agree with another, do not hate your partner. Hatred doesn’t leave space for a person to be fair and it makes you blind and closes all doors of thinking and making right decision or judgment.
Do not try to rule everyone in the family, and have a tendency to impose your will on family and friends, since your ideas are their best interests. To fulfill your own interests, do not make your spouse uncomfortable. Any body can bear only a certain amount of growing tensions.
When things don’t appear to happen as quickly or exactly in the manner you’d like, all sorts of inner frustrations begin to start.
Ego destroys your relationships. There may be emotional discussions or arguments, crazy movements on occasions. Try to ignore them with a bright and broad mind. Too much self-importance, constant inward and outward battle for supremacy causes emotional pressures.
Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause, which gives misery and frustration. Don’t let a little dispute injure your good relationships. In disagreements fight fairly. With loved ones deal with the current situation. Don’t bring the past.
Do not make hasty decisions; anything worth having is worth waiting for. Tolerance is the only way to balance life on anyone’s scales. Show tolerance at the time of distress and difficulty, an imbalanced individual can behave irrationally and pay little attention towards using hurtful expressions. Be generous to any fault in your spouse you will remain as a good loving partner.
Forgiveness is divine. The most beautiful thing a partner can do is to forgive. Your forgiveness should be such that the person, who is forgiven, does not even know that you are forgiving him or her. They should not even feel guilty about their mistake.
Heal the hurt with loving tenderness and wisdom. Love can cement anything, even hearts that have broken into a thousand pieces.
Burying resentment in silence won’t make negative feelings disappear. Negative feelings make life dull. By being more open and direct, less subtle and evasive, much hurt can be avoided.
Believe in truth, not evasion. Truth can solve any difficulty, when it is faced with openness and compassion. Telling the truth saves a great deal of trouble.
Being extensively jealous and possessive reveals your own sense of insecurity and your belief that you don’t really deserve to have this person as a partner. A little jealousy is natural but too much possessiveness can begin, as something irritating and end up as a major issue. Insecure feelings show suspicion towards you.
The unfounded suspicion is something which implies a thing about truth and integrity. This ruins your relationship and family…..creates so many problems.
Obstacles for weak family relations:
F = Frustration
A = Avoidance
I = Inferiority
L = Lack of assertiveness
U = under handed actions
R = Resentment
E = Envy
Friction spoils the affection at home.
If you love something, very, very much, let it go free. Remember, “Birds return to their nest”. TRUST is the only, major important trait for good family relationship.
Have patience with yourself, and everyone in the family. Do not lose courage considering imperfections, but instantly begin remedying them. Sometimes a thoughtless mistake can be very helpful. Accept and adopt criticism. It strengthens to improve your efficiency to face any challenge.
Unless one learns to tolerate and even enjoy being alone, it is very difficult to accomplish any task that requires undivided concentration. For this reason, it is essential to find ways to control consciousness even when we are left to our own.
Take responsibility for your happiness. “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones”.
It is not sufficient if you are a good individual. With getting good association and cooperation only, you can balance needs and good relationships in the family. Acceptance gives prosperity.
Bad experiences, disappointments, and ups and downs in your life should not make you hard or bitter… only stronger with positive approach. Face your problems with open courage.
Accepting problems whether major or minor, and deciding how to patiently and calmly deal with them is another thing. Be firm, in solving a problem. Follow your own way, do not invite or involve others in your affairs not to create crisis. Sometimes people around you take advantage, and make fun. They will make a mountain out of a mole hill. With no reason tale-bearers may create base less rumors which can disturb stability in the family. The best course for you with such personalities is to avoid them, or at least not to give them scope to train their guns on you.
Obstacles lend you the gift of will power and determination.
Relax yourself with some recreation; going out for vacation with your family makes you feel fresh and happy. Pleasure trips strengthen your relationships.
Make priorities, work together to fulfill your ambitions. Recognize and encourage your partner to achieve his/her goals. Give freedom of thought, action, and movement in every aspect and remain as an ideal partner.
In modern society, behind every successful man there is an even more successful, working woman. Working woman is showing more efficiency and capability of balancing both family and career with so much of challenge. Appreciate and encourage her, in every way, giving full support to reach great heights in her profession. Everyone in the family must understand her; Give plenty of love and affection to reduce stress she is facing throughout the day. Feel proud and happy to see her in a good position. Be flexible, and create ideal image that can make you happy and your family.
When a woman is a housewife, just make your man and family prosperity as your career. Gladly help him in every way sincerely, true to the saying “behind every successful man there’s a woman”. A woman’s heart lies in serving her whole family cheerfully. To work with love is a holy thing.
Show urge to serve the family and all the individuals by pointing out their faults to bring order and accumulate a reasonable amount of personal security for the future at the same time. Enjoy work after family obligations are properly attended all of which may take endless time and attention. Take duties and obligations seriously. Enjoy your role in your family. Do not be unfaithful to the vows, once committed.
The five personality traits that help man/woman to live and thrive…
1. Extroverted character
2. Agreeable manner
3. Conscientiousness
4. Emotional stability
5. Openness to experience
Ethics in a family develops more strength. The gentle humility and patience makes a good family. See love of peace and harmony is seen everywhere. Give respect to your head of the family. Purity of mind in a wife ensures health and longevity of the husband. Respect for the wisdom of age and experience, a sense of duty and responsibility shows sincerely towards family.
Health is wealth; it is well being of your family. Concentrate on healthy food habits for healthy mind to balance your life with great strength. Wrong food habits increase stress levels in your body.
Woman heart must be close to culture and tradition. See that every corner in your home is clean. It will give positive vibrations in your family. Disciplined life, faith in God, and prayer can become a way of life in a family, even while engaged in onerous duties of life. Prayer is just like a meditation. Prayer can reduce chaotic thinking. Prayers to God remove ill feelings in the home.
Self-esteem is an important quality that guides you to behave ethically. Give value to honesty and try to be honest in all your dealings. A decision is right if it benefits others or at least does not harm anybody. It has to be based on principles of fairness and equality. Leave important matters to your man he will do justice to everyone in the family. Remain as accomplished and devoted wife.
Money is very important in one’s life and the acquisition of money and its management contributes in making one successful in life. Mismanagement of finances creates many problems in a family.
Generally many problems arise with money matters, showing disparity between both families. Be sensible in spending your money. Spend thrift to be generous to your siblings. Be generous when they are in need. Think some day you may be in need. Some doesn’t like to need and believe that “needing” is a synonym for “weakness”. Where there is no need of monetary help, give love and affection through your services. Helping others seeks a shining ideal.
Have faith in humanity, it must come from home. “Live and Let Live”, humanitarian concern for others teaches the beautiful rewards of self-giving. Show quickness to help your people; cooperate beautifully to balance your relationships. Work to your own satisfaction and to the satisfaction of all. Let everyone feel comfortable in your presence with your behavior. A little tenderness today can prevent a lot of tears tomorrow.
When you are strong about family ties, feel a sense of duty and responsibility towards your parents. Take good care and attend to their needs sincerely. Share your happiness and joy with your parents. When your parents get suddenly hospitalized, or suffering from some health problems, first personally be concerned, then for additional help, ask your spouse to share your responsibility. Understanding between both a man/woman must be very strong. Kindly understand their elderly problems and give your maximum moral support they need. Respect and gratitude tells everything with services. Without knowing you will enjoy unimagined blessing and boon in your family life. See a wonderful success and prosperous future of your children in every step.
To Parents…
- Bringing up your children is moral responsibility.
- Be a tender and caring parent...
- Give a little love to child and you get a great deal back.
- Spend plenty of time with your children. If both are working parents, spare some time for them daily. Share everything about your career; gradually the little brains can understand and cooperate with your routine life.
- Give your children more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Trust your children. Listen and respect their views and opinions.
- Encourage and appreciate their talents and capabilities.
- Tell them: ‘There’s no substitute for hard work. It is bound to give you good results’.
- Don’t leave your children alone whenever you go out. Always take them with you; they will enjoy your presence; feeling of love.
- Don’t be over-critical or judgmental about your child.
- Don’t compare them with other children. Only good comparison and constructive criticism gives confidence.
- Don’t compare your past with your child’s present. Give them your best and they give you their best. Don’t give orders and arrogant lectures, and try to rule your child. He/she will shrink and cheerful face will disappear.
- Most of the time parents impose their own ideas, views and interests; and believe that it is for the well being of children.
- See that your parental authority is fair and honest, show that there is logic behind your command; children will learn to respect your rules.
- Many times parents insist on obedience to rules, they make up for their own convenience, rather than for the well-being of the child. Children can smell this kind of dishonesty very quickly. Better plan to explain all your orders and commands to them calmly. Be firm, give a good solid reason.
- Some children will never swallow your rules if they’re based on social morals than on concern for his/her welfare.
- Parents mind should not be narrow and prejudiced.
- Unjustified offense makes your child become detached mentally from you.
- When you’re wrong you’ll have to admit your mistake and confess; take immediate steps to correct it. Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values.
- Excellent nutrition and stimulating environment at home and work are conducive to intelligence of your children.
Live a good, healthy, prosperous, and honorable long family life. People with healthy life styles are known to look youthful, cheerful and full of zeal even late in life. When you get older and think back you’ll get to enjoy it a second time. Make family as a true society.
F = Faith
A = Affection
M = Moral strength
I = Integrity
L = Love and loyalty
Y = Yielding
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