BLESS YOUR CHILDREN

Bless your children to grow like a ‘Vatavriksha’ - huge banyan tree, sheltering thousands from the scorching misery of the world. – Swami Vivekananda

Happy families value tradition and conventional wisdom. Children are always joy of the entire family.

Mother is held in great esteem in the universe. There is no price in the world for the agony, sacrifice and suffering a mother undergoes for her children. The role of a true mother is to lift her children sky-high and not to bother about herself. Motherhood is holy and sacred.

Even the father of a great saint can fall at the feet of his son to get his blessings. It is accepted. But a Mother should never fall at the feet of her son even if he is holy as God. Mother is considered to be greater, whatever the position her son reaches.

A woman plays a huge role in the making of her next generation. The way she creates extra ordinary individuals out of her children, will have a huge bearing on the nation’s progress itself. A woman takes every effort to ensure personal growth of her children, with a positive attitude towards life.

Great efforts and good deeds will help your children in so many ways. Wealth and property alone will not protect your children. Parents, in their own ways can script the destiny of their children. Give a character vision to live unto.

The secret of happy family includes flexibility rooted in love and understanding. Families can remain strong if they acknowledge differences among all family members and try to accommodate them. With Progressive thinking, emphasizing feelings rather than behavior; the parents must allow the kids to express themselves openly and loudly, offer them an equal voice in family decisions. Freedom and love plays an important role in molding your children into good citizens.

Strong families know they can’t anticipate all the twists in the road. Many parents are fearful that their slightest misstep will damage their kids irreparably. Not so with parents in strong families. They know they aren’t perfect, and they’re not afraid to admit it.

“I am sorry, I got angry”, goes a long way towards preserving family unity. Happy families argue. They don’t bring up the past. And they have a method of straightening out relationships, when things have gone sour.

Each family member has the right to erupt like volcano when he/she has a grievance. They can spout hot lava for five minutes, describing whatever has made them angry; but not personally attacking another family member. Others are obliged to listen and then get their chance to respond. By that time, the steam has usually gone out of the volcano as well as the listeners.

Siblings and associations

• The existence of a child depends solely on his parents and he is forced to share this basic area of security with his siblings. Where there are families, there are siblings and the next follow automatically the rivalry.
• Having siblings have many positive points. Siblings are an important aid to socialization. In a family with siblings each child learns the scope of their role based on gender and age difference between them.
• Exposure to winning and losing, quarreling and making up are valuable learning experiences only siblings can give each other.
• Sibling rivalry isn’t uncommon. A little quarreling is a part; when parents struggle to take sides, there is always an unsatisfied soul. The number of loving siblings surely exceeds the rivals; but the latter catches attention. Birth order is a common cause and seems to affect the younger or the older sibling.
• When it gets difficult to handle the rivalry, talk it out with a confident without resorting to things such as hurting yourself or your children. To forget any hurt, to forgive a mistake, forward a sorry.
• Don’t dismiss early signs of resentment, by simply demanding your children to love each other. Without getting too much involved in fights, help them to understand how to balance between rational and emotional behavior.
• Constant comparison with the performance of one child with another brings adverse effects.
• A child who’s been irreparably hurt by his siblings or parents may not hang around home forever, but he/she will bear the scars for a life time.
• Let’s not forget that siblings are supposed to have fun; fun unites each other.

Bringing up your Children

• Children are so lovely always brings loveliness and beauty, an suspected talent for imagination, delights of a young mind.
• Always tell your children, “I am with you” and give them the feeling of warmth. Hug them, show your affection verbally. Emotional security makes your children feel confident and protected throughout the life.
• Allow your kids to make choices; give them freedom to pick their clothes, friends and TV shows.
• Allow your children to speak. Never try to stop while they are telling something. It is very important to give them a chance to speak, and avoid the tendency to shout at your child down. Later, you might even decide that they’re right. An equal balance of talking and listening will help to strengthen your relationship with your children.
• Communicate, with friendly open manner. Respect the freedom of expression, thought, likes and dislikes. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
• Listen to them with tenderness and genuine interest, to all the dispairs and gently guide it into refreshing dreams of thought.
• If you really love your children, tell them not to do anything wrong. They will rarely misbehave.
• Make a note not to remind their past mistakes. Allow your children to correct any mistakes by themselves.
• Focus on sharing emotionally, reflecting on past issues with the view to create a bright future. Inspire your children to take up issues for the betterment of self and society.
• You may house their bodies but not their souls; for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow; which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. Let them have their own dreams.
• Children should never be treated cruelly or harshly in the process of being educated. The whole essence of discipline is wrapped inside a small truth is LOVE.
• Allow your child get an opportunity to mix with like minded people, with their wave length to share their feelings and improve their personality and confidence.
• Reading is an important habit that a child should cultivate at a very young age. Regular reading habit anything of his choice helps and improves his knowledge and gains confidence and becomes very enthusiastic. There should be enthusiasm, but at the same time, there should be patience.
• The right piece of knowledge given at the right time makes all the difference to your children. Knowledge imparted to the earnest student is the Kalpak Creeper in the world.
• Tell your children that real challenge is not to manage time, but to manage themselves. Tell stories contain challenging incidents, struggles and triumphs mostly your real life events without hiding anything. The ending must be very positive and make them feel that it helps in facing situations in life very well. Never boast, never pretend, and never say anything that isn’t true.
• Tell your children, there is no substitute for hard work. Nothing comes easily in life and it depends on what you want to achieve and how much you are prepared to stretch yourselves to achieve your goal.
• Tell them not to become overconfident. When children become overconfident; slows down.
• When your grown-up children are away from you and home for higher education or work, close communication is very important. Offer a helping hand and cheery word to your loved ones from a distance.

An adolescent must, at one point, stay away from his parents for a reasonable duration for his higher studies. It really pays. When the adolescent stays away, it actually makes him a tougher man and exposes him to the unexpected events of the world. Staying in a hostel is an experience of its own, especially if he is the single child in the family. The sense of sharing gets inculcated only outside home and it is understandable that it will be tough initially but it helps in the overall development of the child.

More importantly, staying away actually brings about closeness between the parents and the adolescent. If an adolescent thinks that by staying away from home, his responsibilities cease to exist, he is wrong. In fact, children begin to feel responsibilities only then. It is fun to handle all sorts of problems that crop up. Grasp higher education, even if it is away from home. It is really cool as it gives him the confidence to take the world head on.

Children are so 'adult' in every-way as elders. Your children grow out of you and you too can grow out of them.

Worth to Earn: Education, Economy, Strength, Fame, and Merit.

A child should be taught restraint from the moment of his/her birth. You don't allow children to do anything they like when they are babies, because they will develop habits of self-indulgence which later on, are very difficult to overcome. - Mahatma Gandhi

Education is power and power should be a source of service.

The very essence of Real education - by which character is formed, strength of mind is increased, the intellect is expanded, which enables your children to stand on their own feet- is to be kept in mind while pursuing studies.

Fish for a person, you feed him a meal; teach him how to fish, and you feed him for a life time.

F = Faith
A = Ability
T = Title
H = Honor
E = Experience
R = Respect

A Father will guide his children in every step with optimism and reality.

A Father knows like a gardener, that the smaller plants cannot grow under the shade of a big tree. Like a gardener, he will plant a seed, nurture it with care, and waters it regularly. Blissfully watches each leaf and bud unfurl, and nurtures hope in his heart. Sprays drops of kindness, sprinkle love and guard it carefully from all evil influences till it blooms as a smile on his face; a confident expression that reflects his grit to face challenges.

The main factors are the circumstances in which your children have been brought up. If they have been brought up in aggression, abuse, and misery continuously and especially in their childhood, chances are more likely to become a pessimist. On the other hand, if they have been brought up in a loving and secure atmosphere, your children will probably have a much more optimistic outlook towards life.

Some parents are more possessive and demanding, more inclined to try to mold into shapes that please them. Many times parents insist on respect and obedience, and afraid at heart that their children may slip from their fingers.

Obedience to a person doesn’t mean subjugated. Independence doesn’t mean arbitrary way of living.

Some children are over sensitive, some insecure, some are entirely independent. Parents should understand the nature of their children; and guide them to make use of freedom in a right way as they grow into responsible and independent adults.

Parents should understand that there are limits to the child's elastity - stretch him too far and he could snap.

Parents should not be strict; they should only be firm. Be firm when needed, but also give them freedom wherever you can. Make them to learn, and use the freedom given judiciously, to grow up into good citizens of tomorrow. You will gain love and affection in the long run.

Too much restriction will have an adverse impact on children. The quickest way to end a relationship is to restrict someone else. No one likes feeling imprisoned and lure of freedom will become very strong. When your children become detached; you will only have yourself to blame.

One needs more freedom for the flowering of one’s personality. Excessive parental control or unwanted control from others in discharge of duties is oppressive. A person subjected to excessive control from parents feels tension because he needs more freedom.

Right of thought and action never indicates suppression or repressive control. It represents a balance between freedom and restrictions.

We should see what a child can do, instead of forcing a child to do what we can see. - Jagat S.Bright

Money or luxury is not enough to bring cheer in life. You can’t substitute things for love and affection. Money is not a substitute for tenderness.

Some children may be slow to learn and grasp anything, and to show their capabilities. Fear and repression in early childhood leaves a person prone to anxiety and depression. Fear leads to isolation. Isolation leads to low self-esteem, and under achievement could render them hesitant and speechless. Have patience and tolerance with your children in every step. Accept how they are and never compare with others. Tell that education for career and money is no longer the only criteria to a life. Initially try to help them to lift their self-image, and then give support to improve slowly, in their academics.

Any dent in a vessel can be repaired; but a dent in the self-image of a child especially if punished in the presence of others, is hardest to repair.

Even if the situation warrants punishment, at the end of the punishment, an appreciative comment of at least one good quality of the child, a gentle pat on the shoulders, an understanding and empathetic smile would save the child’s self-image and hence brings life in his face.

Do not measure the capabilities of the precious little ones only by the academics marks. The other measurements are also equally significant like contributions of the child in the play ground, on the stage, on the paintings or in any art. Other activities also help to improve concentration of the mind. Creativity of anything comes by birth.

Children have no inhibitions. Let us not throttle their creative imagination with an overdose of boring facts and figures.

Tell him that virtues like honesty, empathy and friendliness, capability to work in a team and communicative skills are as important to lead a successful life as the academic marks.

If a child self-image is intact and if he thought so much about what others think about him, he will not able to cope with any situation. Since he will take it light and laugh only with a supporting loved one. The happy child doesn’t need deep attention.

Failure is only an event and if your child just gets his direction of intelligence, sky is the only limit for what he can achieve in life.

Falls and failures are essential in life even as is the success and rise. One must not give into depression because of failures. Each failure is a trial which presents an invitation for betterment; it presents a lesson to improve your children.

Face any challenge with courage and patience; Patience in enjoying the journey. It’s not climbing the mountain to get to the top; it’s climbing the mountain to enjoy the climb. Enjoy the process of your own life. - John Roger

Everyone is blessed and will be guided to become achievers at some level. Fill your heart with love and gratitude for having a blissful life. Your success in living a worthwhile life will make your creator happy.

Knowledge and Enlightenment